I think... it was after that city under the water. When the orcs attacked.

[god, saying that in hindsight is weird. is this real? is he sure this is real? suddenly buzz isn't so sure.]

Ironhide gave me a lift away from a patrol, and while we were discussing our respective sizes, he told me about a... specific tactic that would make it easy for us to bring people down if we hit the right places in their legs. I didn't like it. [which is a nice way to say he had a straight up panic attack and almost ran from ironhide into danger just to get away from it.] I mentioned that underwater city-- I didn't like what Ironhide was saying because there were several times I almost did it to the people who were posing a threat down there.

[there's a pause where he sighs, looking away. he thinks of the zomtoys as well-- maybe he was okay with that when bo was around the share the burden of what they'd done, but now?]

I don't think I should be a toy for a kid as young as Bonnie when I've even considered things like that. Or anyone. [it's a loss of identity, as usual with buzz.]