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Offical Woody Complaint Box
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cawaiiVoice | Text | Video
Offical Woody Complaint Box
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cawaiiHello, this is The Doctor. Is this Jesse?
Yes.
[Is the simple answer but its said like they're a bit more than just friends]
[Is the simple answer but its said like they're a bit more than just friends]
[A tongue clicks]
Well - that could be a few things. He could be from an earlier point in your timeline than the rest of you.
Well - that could be a few things. He could be from an earlier point in your timeline than the rest of you.
[it's usually pretty quiet and peaceful during the "nighttime" in the prospero townhouse. even if all six toys present were up and moving around at this time, they're small enough and generally stealthy by nature enough that there wouldn't be much of a scene anyway.
that said, it's three in the morning when buzz jerks awake (? out of hibernation? who knows what they do, honestly), the soft green glow of his armour shifting on the walls slightly with the action. something's occurred to him, and it's pushed him fully back into consciousness.]
--Rex would be a real dinosaur?!
[.......weird, mr lightbeer. really weird.]
that said, it's three in the morning when buzz jerks awake (? out of hibernation? who knows what they do, honestly), the soft green glow of his armour shifting on the walls slightly with the action. something's occurred to him, and it's pushed him fully back into consciousness.]
--Rex would be a real dinosaur?!
[.......weird, mr lightbeer. really weird.]
[Deerington is an awful place, and the sudden movement is enough to rouse Jessie from (sleep???) with a very delicate and ladylike snort. She looks around for THE DANGER for a moment- assuming there has to be some... but no. It's just Buzz. Talking about dinosaurs?
She squints at him, her sleep-addled brain trying to put two and two together but not quite making four. ]
Whuzt? [A stunning display of the English language.] What was that about Rex?
She squints at him, her sleep-addled brain trying to put two and two together but not quite making four. ]
Whuzt? [A stunning display of the English language.] What was that about Rex?
Edited 2019-10-22 18:05 (UTC)
I don't know if I believe it, but it certainly explains some of the discrepancies around here! The suspension of disbelief has already been ruined by being involved in some magical nightmare.
[that's... not helping.]
Have you been told about the multiverse thing? I could be a cowboy...
[that's... not helping.]
Have you been told about the multiverse thing? I could be a cowboy...
[What in the holy hell is happening to her? She stares at him blearily, eyes blinking slightly out of synch as she tries to process the information just dropped on her. ]
What- so this isn't about Rex?
[Oh sweet lord, is this what it feels like to be Woody? Is her life from this point on going to be fielding Buzz's existential crisis questions? She raises a hand to her head, rubbing her forehead. Okay. No. Let's just- ]
What's this about you being a cowboy?
What- so this isn't about Rex?
[Oh sweet lord, is this what it feels like to be Woody? Is her life from this point on going to be fielding Buzz's existential crisis questions? She raises a hand to her head, rubbing her forehead. Okay. No. Let's just- ]
What's this about you being a cowboy?
[he stands up straight on the bed-- apparently buzz is done with sleeping for now. great.]
Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. We can talk about it tomorrow.
Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. We can talk about it tomorrow.
But also, I was told that there are essentially an infinite number of universes with infinite possibilities that all fold onto each other continuously with either huge or minuscule differences and Deerington is a big train station where they all collide at once and make everything mean nothing and everything at the same time.
[this is... certainly a way to deal with what's going on. "deal".]
Like the inevitable one where I'm the cowboy, you're the Space Ranger and Rex is a real dinosaur.
[he flops backwards onto his ass. any other time he might not even tell her about this, but, like, talking about stuff is something they do!] And that's just something else, some of the other weird, bad news you have to learn here? If the real Buzz Lightyear shows up then I quit.
[this is... certainly a way to deal with what's going on. "deal".]
Like the inevitable one where I'm the cowboy, you're the Space Ranger and Rex is a real dinosaur.
[he flops backwards onto his ass. any other time he might not even tell her about this, but, like, talking about stuff is something they do!] And that's just something else, some of the other weird, bad news you have to learn here? If the real Buzz Lightyear shows up then I quit.
Hooookay, I'm gonna guess sleeping is no longer an option. Just gonna put sleep off the table for a spell.
[Goodbye, sleep. You were good to her while she had you. Please come back again someday. She sits up proper, crossing her little legs under her and resting her hand on her knee, propping her chin up with her hand. ]
Okay. So... what you're saying is there's lots of different worlds and any of them can show up here? Like... other universes? And with other versions of us? And you're worried about them turning up?
[She's trying, she's really trying. She doesn't tend to worry about what ifs because honestly, she's carting enough baggage around with her thanks.]
[Goodbye, sleep. You were good to her while she had you. Please come back again someday. She sits up proper, crossing her little legs under her and resting her hand on her knee, propping her chin up with her hand. ]
Okay. So... what you're saying is there's lots of different worlds and any of them can show up here? Like... other universes? And with other versions of us? And you're worried about them turning up?
[She's trying, she's really trying. She doesn't tend to worry about what ifs because honestly, she's carting enough baggage around with her thanks.]
The [finger quotes times] "real" Buzz Lightyear is a cartoon and so not real. We watched the whole show, he's not real and he's not you. You're better.
[The best, in fact.]
And, if in some cockamanie hyjinks the cartoon Buzz Lightyear shows up, I'll just kick his butt, because I have had to deal with an excessive amount of Buzz Lightyears already and the chicken-stank one kinda hit my limit there. There's only one Buzz Lightyear I need or want and he's right here. You don't need to worry about that.
[The best, in fact.]
And, if in some cockamanie hyjinks the cartoon Buzz Lightyear shows up, I'll just kick his butt, because I have had to deal with an excessive amount of Buzz Lightyears already and the chicken-stank one kinda hit my limit there. There's only one Buzz Lightyear I need or want and he's right here. You don't need to worry about that.
That's what I was told. I don't know if I believe it, but... there's a lot here that can't exist back home. [which is a clusterfuck in his brain in itself after he had to accept none of that shit is real already.] I'm not worried about them showing up so much as it just being a thing in general... it's a lot to take in!
[but... as usual, her exuberance just makes him smile, his heart full with the love he feels for her. of course she'd kick the hell out of any doubles.]
He won't do that again, not after I took him back to the Palace. [though that thing is really lucky he didn't get a beating from woody AND buzz for what he pulled. the rudeness!] For what it's worth, you'd make an incredible Ranger. Zurg wouldn't last ten minutes against you!
[but... as usual, her exuberance just makes him smile, his heart full with the love he feels for her. of course she'd kick the hell out of any doubles.]
He won't do that again, not after I took him back to the Palace. [though that thing is really lucky he didn't get a beating from woody AND buzz for what he pulled. the rudeness!] For what it's worth, you'd make an incredible Ranger. Zurg wouldn't last ten minutes against you!
I guess so? I'm mostly still dealing with talking to humans - didn't really think much further than that. Makes sense, though. Fern sounds like he doesn't come from Earth at all - and I'm pretty sure the world would've noticed Ironhide by now.
[He's pretty heckin' big!!!]
Yeah, jury's out on that one.
[He was skeevy and she did not care for him. No sir. Give her her awkward, fumbling Buzz Lightyear over an obnoxiously flirty one any day. She smiles, reaching out to pat his shoulder. It's okay, babe, she's got your back.]
You better believe it! I ain't afraid of any weird-faced goon in a purple dress. I bet you'd make a good cowboy too, you just gotta get your countryisms down pat is all.
[He's pretty heckin' big!!!]
Yeah, jury's out on that one.
[He was skeevy and she did not care for him. No sir. Give her her awkward, fumbling Buzz Lightyear over an obnoxiously flirty one any day. She smiles, reaching out to pat his shoulder. It's okay, babe, she's got your back.]
You better believe it! I ain't afraid of any weird-faced goon in a purple dress. I bet you'd make a good cowboy too, you just gotta get your countryisms down pat is all.
Yes, my friend is ahead of me.
[Which really feels weird saying that]
[Which really feels weird saying that]
Oh, that too. I ended up letting a raccoon believe I'm a tiny robot made for infiltration. Several people think I'm a human that's just been shrunk somehow. I didn't really want to correct them.
[though it's a laughable concept to think that he's a human. him! a whole people!]
Fern's from... Ooo, right? Ironhide turns into a truck. He's way too obnoxious to hide for long, though. He jettisoned me across the street when we first met because I vaugely touched his door. [okay buzz you were climbing directly across him, don't be like that. ironhide is a good dude who helped.] Listen, I know my yees and my haws... I can understand you and Woody perfectly well, now!
[though it's a laughable concept to think that he's a human. him! a whole people!]
Fern's from... Ooo, right? Ironhide turns into a truck. He's way too obnoxious to hide for long, though. He jettisoned me across the street when we first met because I vaugely touched his door. [okay buzz you were climbing directly across him, don't be like that. ironhide is a good dude who helped.] Listen, I know my yees and my haws... I can understand you and Woody perfectly well, now!
Yup.
[A pause- how to answer that question. How did he feel? Yes, it hurt but not because he was behind because she had hinted that he lost her. Somehow.]
Weird.
[A pause- how to answer that question. How did he feel? Yes, it hurt but not because he was behind because she had hinted that he lost her. Somehow.]
Weird.
You... let a raccoon believe you're a tiny robot. [No sorry she's just got to... make sure she heard that one right. ] How did you even? ...No. No. I've decided I don't wanna know, don't tell me.
Did they not see you were made of plastic? No one's thought I was a tiny human. [Jessie, that's because you're a ragdoll and your torso and limbs very blatantly don't have bones in them. ]
Awwww, Ironhide's a big softie. He let me ride on him for a little when I was looking for Woody. He's just crabby is all. Like a big, metal Potatohead. [Oh honey. Oh honey, you're trying so hard.] That's finer than a frog's hair split three ways. You've been practising.
[Jessie, you're a little shit and you're frankly lucky he puts up with you. ]
Did they not see you were made of plastic? No one's thought I was a tiny human. [Jessie, that's because you're a ragdoll and your torso and limbs very blatantly don't have bones in them. ]
Awwww, Ironhide's a big softie. He let me ride on him for a little when I was looking for Woody. He's just crabby is all. Like a big, metal Potatohead. [Oh honey. Oh honey, you're trying so hard.] That's finer than a frog's hair split three ways. You've been practising.
[Jessie, you're a little shit and you're frankly lucky he puts up with you. ]
It just-- it doesn't feel right explaining it all to the people who don't know. Like you said, the rules...
[he shrugs a little, then finally sits back down next to her. maybe sleep will come back sooner than she hopes.]
...That's exactly what I said! [buzz says, a grin splitting his expression. great minds think alike?] Nnnoot... four ways?
[he shrugs a little, then finally sits back down next to her. maybe sleep will come back sooner than she hopes.]
...That's exactly what I said! [buzz says, a grin splitting his expression. great minds think alike?] Nnnoot... four ways?
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