[She huffs out a soft laugh. It's not the bouncy, no-holes-barred laugh she usually has. It's a little more guarded and restrained, but it's still there.]
I'm not young, but I appreciate the smooth-talking all the same. Consider me charmed.
[She'll reach out, her hand a little shaky- placing it on the deer's muzzle.]
[he knows this hasn't dissipated her mood all togther, he doesn't even know if that's how it works-- but he can still feel it through the string.
fortunately, the deer is open to all this. she leans into jessie's hand a little, snorting gently. her eyes slowly close, evidently enjoying the bliss of laying in the sun and getting pet.
maybe the ultimate fate of some sleepers isn't so bad after all, huh?]
[There are worse fates Jessie could think of than turning into a deer and living in relative peace in a dream dimension. Of course, that really would depend on how much they remembered. Forgetting everything would be... pretty awful.
She smiles, enjoying the feel of the soft fur.]
...This is helping a little. Thanks. Maybe all I need to do is hang out with the deer to stave off what I'm guessing is just gonna be a bi-monthly breakdown.
[it's kind of flat. why would she say the deer instead of him? it's because things are weird, isn't it? buzz is so worried about this that he almost forgets to say anything to follow up-- isn't not all about you, lightyear! this is why you should never think about things ever. he can so easily let himself become anxiously consumed with how he might be making her feel worse.]
Ah-- well. You know I don't mind... fielding your bi-monthly breakdowns, right?
[Even if they hadn't been connected by the threads, Jessie would have picked up on his anxiety. She likes to think she knows him well enough by now to know when something is bothering him. The thread just makes it all the stronger. Her fingers curl on the Deer's side for a moment, as she lets out a slow breath.
She turns, brow furrowed, real worry overtaking the rest of the emotional hurricane going on inside her for a brief moment.]
I know. I really appreciate that a whole lot. I just-
[She hugs her arms around herself, gaze dropping to the ground.]
I'm just. I'm scared that I'll end up hurting you. I could do something or say something that could cause some real damage and you don't deserve any of that. But I can't control it. [It's THERE, prickling at the back of her head constantly, and eventually, she knows she's going to snap and lash out at whoever happens to be nearest to her at the time.] Buzz, you're the most important thing in the whole world to me. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
[Because a tiny part of her is still terrified that if she pushes him away hard enough, he'll just leave and she'll be stuck alone again. She knows, logically, it would never happen. You can't get more stalwart and true than Buzz Freaking Lightyear. But the fear remains all the same. Unfounded though it may be. ]
You're not wrong to feel that way-- if I was in your position I'd be beyond horrified at the chance of anything like that happening.
[he reaches up to pat the deer on her cheek, running his fingers over the surprisingly smooth grey fur. even for someone like buzz who isn't completely comfortable around animals, it's soothing.]
This is different though, isn't it? This is whatever that stuff that latched onto us in Rapture. If this was as easy as just... not feeling that way then there wouldn't be a problem.
[he looks over, giving her hand a squeeze.]
Jessie... it's okay. Even if something like that happens, I won't hold it against you. Not when I know it's not you. Besides, I'd like to think we're both capable of talking about things like adults. You're far too important for me to just-- run away over something as little as words or actions spoken in supernatural anger.
Yeah, if I could switch it off, it'd be a whole lot easier.
[Even that comment has a sliver of venom to it. It's barbed and she immediately regrets letting it out that way.
Still, he squeezes her hand and she offers a fleeting, if not entirely there, smile. She desperately wants to put all her faith in that comment- and she knows he's being genuine. That he's not making a promise he intends to break. She knows this and yet that horrible fear still churns at her- helpfully fueled by the anger. If Deerington could stop putting her emotions in a blender that'd be great, honestly. ]
You say that now, but I haven't thrown anything at your head yet.
[She tries to keep an air of amusement to the proceedings, but her heart blatantly isn't in it. ]
[barbed and venomous it might be, buzz isn't shook. he's not such a soft touch that just a stern tone will upset him, and he doesn't consider his place in this relationship so fragile that this would be a problem.]
...I mean... you could just make a cape out of your blanket, couldn't you? Maybe that would help counteract it.
[...]
I have a rubber head made for impacts and lightning-quick reflexes. I invite you to fling stuff at my head.
[unclear if the deer understands what's going on, but it flicks an ear and grunts regardless. maybe a grunt of agreement, maybe just an animal noise. who knows, not buzz.]
We should do that as soon as possible, then. Let's get back inside. [a beat, then:] I'm just saying, I can handle it.
[The deer is a good and Jessie will utterly have faith in the fact she agrees. Deer just know. ]
...Yeah, okay.
[She'd happily stay with the deer forever, but he's right. The sooner they try to get a handle on this, the better. She pats the deer once more, gently, before turning back towards the house.]
I think it'd better if we didn't test that theory out.
[he's certain he can handle this - that buzz lightyear patented confidence - but... you know. he doesn't actually want stuff flung at his head? buzz takes her hand as he leads her in.]
Bo'd probably know how to make it look cool, but I'll see about just getting it over you, for now.
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I'm not young, but I appreciate the smooth-talking all the same. Consider me charmed.
[She'll reach out, her hand a little shaky- placing it on the deer's muzzle.]
Hey there, little lady.
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fortunately, the deer is open to all this. she leans into jessie's hand a little, snorting gently. her eyes slowly close, evidently enjoying the bliss of laying in the sun and getting pet.
maybe the ultimate fate of some sleepers isn't so bad after all, huh?]
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She smiles, enjoying the feel of the soft fur.]
...This is helping a little. Thanks. Maybe all I need to do is hang out with the deer to stave off what I'm guessing is just gonna be a bi-monthly breakdown.
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[it's kind of flat. why would she say the deer instead of him? it's because things are weird, isn't it? buzz is so worried about this that he almost forgets to say anything to follow up-- isn't not all about you, lightyear! this is why you should never think about things ever. he can so easily let himself become anxiously consumed with how he might be making her feel worse.]
Ah-- well. You know I don't mind... fielding your bi-monthly breakdowns, right?
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She turns, brow furrowed, real worry overtaking the rest of the emotional hurricane going on inside her for a brief moment.]
I know. I really appreciate that a whole lot. I just-
[She hugs her arms around herself, gaze dropping to the ground.]
I'm just. I'm scared that I'll end up hurting you. I could do something or say something that could cause some real damage and you don't deserve any of that. But I can't control it. [It's THERE, prickling at the back of her head constantly, and eventually, she knows she's going to snap and lash out at whoever happens to be nearest to her at the time.] Buzz, you're the most important thing in the whole world to me. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
[Because a tiny part of her is still terrified that if she pushes him away hard enough, he'll just leave and she'll be stuck alone again. She knows, logically, it would never happen. You can't get more stalwart and true than Buzz Freaking Lightyear. But the fear remains all the same. Unfounded though it may be. ]
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[he reaches up to pat the deer on her cheek, running his fingers over the surprisingly smooth grey fur. even for someone like buzz who isn't completely comfortable around animals, it's soothing.]
This is different though, isn't it? This is whatever that stuff that latched onto us in Rapture. If this was as easy as just... not feeling that way then there wouldn't be a problem.
[he looks over, giving her hand a squeeze.]
Jessie... it's okay. Even if something like that happens, I won't hold it against you. Not when I know it's not you. Besides, I'd like to think we're both capable of talking about things like adults. You're far too important for me to just-- run away over something as little as words or actions spoken in supernatural anger.
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[Even that comment has a sliver of venom to it. It's barbed and she immediately regrets letting it out that way.
Still, he squeezes her hand and she offers a fleeting, if not entirely there, smile. She desperately wants to put all her faith in that comment- and she knows he's being genuine. That he's not making a promise he intends to break. She knows this and yet that horrible fear still churns at her- helpfully fueled by the anger. If Deerington could stop putting her emotions in a blender that'd be great, honestly. ]
You say that now, but I haven't thrown anything at your head yet.
[She tries to keep an air of amusement to the proceedings, but her heart blatantly isn't in it. ]
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...I mean... you could just make a cape out of your blanket, couldn't you? Maybe that would help counteract it.
[...]
I have a rubber head made for impacts and lightning-quick reflexes. I invite you to fling stuff at my head.
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...That's... that's not a bad idea, actually.
[She COULD do that and maybe it'd make her life a little less awful this month! His comment does pull a wry chuckle out of her.]
You're actually asking me to throw things at your head?
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We should do that as soon as possible, then. Let's get back inside. [a beat, then:] I'm just saying, I can handle it.
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...Yeah, okay.
[She'd happily stay with the deer forever, but he's right. The sooner they try to get a handle on this, the better. She pats the deer once more, gently, before turning back towards the house.]
I think it'd better if we didn't test that theory out.
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[he's certain he can handle this - that buzz lightyear patented confidence - but... you know. he doesn't actually want stuff flung at his head? buzz takes her hand as he leads her in.]
Bo'd probably know how to make it look cool, but I'll see about just getting it over you, for now.
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I'm sure you can make it look cool too- but so long as it does something, that's what matters.
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[he was joking about it looking cool! never ask him to lighten the mood. he doesn't know how to.]
Where did you leave it? In the bedroom?
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Sure did. Let's see if it'll make a difference.