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Offical Woody Complaint Box

FROM:

SUBJECT:

	BUZZ	Jessie, I think we should talk about Peter.
	BUZZ	I think I'm ready.
	LARXENE	Soooooooooo...
	ALICE	Jessie, hi. It's Alice.
	MAUL	I am not good at this sort of thing
	WILL	if i tell people about it, it'll freak them out
	CHLOE	hey it's chloe
	BUZZ	There's a deer come to visit in the garden
	VENKMAN	Strings
	BUZZ	Found my Fluid
	MAMI	A gift
	BUZZ	doggopic.jpeg
	FERN	dude! you and Buzz are dating? that's great
	BUZZ	So...Woody asked me about what we were hiding from him.
	BUZZ	Sorry. I'll be okay.
	BUZZ	--Rex would be a real dinosaur?!
	THE DOCTOR	Hello, this is The Doctor. Is this Jesse?

TO:

SUBJECT:

	BUZZ	Hey howdy hey
	RUBY	Oh my god I found lemonade in the toaster this morning.
	SANA	Howdy there. I um... wanted to apologise for when you last saw me
	VENKMAN	I gotta keep this short because...
	VENKMAN	Hey-howdy-hey. This is your afternoon check-up call...
	BUZZ	I still don't know why we all go so many presents anyway.
	WOODY	Hey. You around? To talk, I mean?
	BUZZ	Mami fucking died

code by

cawaii

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[he... kind of wants to carry her anyway? he won't because she doesn't want it, but...

well, anyway, it takes him about 20 minutes to get there, as he'd said. buzz has obsessively studied the maps of this place and explored enough to generally know how long it takes to get around.

it takes absolutely every ounce of willpower for him to now scoop her up in a very tight hug the moment he spots her. the only reason he doesn't--]

Are-- are you okay for...? [he has his hands held out, clearly asking if she's okay to even be touched after her body was changed so dramatically against her will.]

[Jessie will solve his dilemma for him. As soon as he gets near she's to her feet, racing into his arms. The hug gives is as tight and fierce as her bearhugs always are- but it's very much lacking in enthusiasm. It seems desperate, like clinging to driftwood in the ocean.

Give her a minute Buzz, she just needs to cling for the next forever. ]

[well, hey, that's good to know. buzz wraps her up in his arms the best he can, hugging her tightly.

he so desperately wants to say "it's okay, you're safe now, it's over" but... he knows all 3 of those things would be lies.

damn it, sodder.

he settles on the one thing that wouldn't be a lie:] I've got you.

[There are so many things she wants to talk about- a slew of half-remembered memories of the past month, sweeping through her mind like a fog. She can't bring them to the surface yet though- giving them a voice might make them real. So she clings a little tighter. ]

I want to go home. I'm done with this place.

I know. I'm sorry.

[sorry for what? sorry he couldn't stop what happened to her? sorry he can't help more? sorry they can't go home? buzz isn't sure. it just hurts.]

Come on. We can go back to the townhouse.

[he's careful not to call that home, even if it's where the family is.]

You don't have anything to be sorry about. You're not the one that turned into a giant death bird.

[Giving voice to it doesn't make her feel any better. Everything sucks. So badly. She appreciates the restraint. The family is there, but it's not home. Not right now. ]

...Yeah, okay. We should get out of here.

[In case they come across any dead townspeople that she for sure murdered.]

[he nods silently-- there's nothing else to say, is there? she's right.

buzz guides her forward gently.]

It--it's not far. You can rest when we're back.

[She heaves out a shuddery sigh, heading forwards, honestly largely walking on autopilot.]

In case you're wondering, turning organic is really weird and not comfortable at all. Solved that mystery for us.

[that... just makes him think of running to the roof in panic, finding the bird, thinking she was dead and-- hrhrhrhgngh that static is coming back. come on, lightyear. get it together. she needs you...! now more than ever!]

...Guess it was too much to ask for warning. [he settles on, a little lamely.] You don't have to talk about what happened if you don't want to but... you know I'm here if you need to.

I pretty much don't want to talk about it ever.

[She wants to put it all in a box, lock it and never take it out again. She offers him a fleeting smile. ]

I appreciate that, though. I know. I'm sorry for scaring you.

[Because even though her memories are fuzzy and not quite right, she knows he was there and it freaked him out. ]

Okay.

[he hates that idea, even if repression is what buzz does best. he just worries-- he knows jessie has so much else that this will grate up against. buzz glances at her as he says that, the exact same look he would give her when woody was starting to spiral.]

Don't worry about me. Like you said, I'm not the one that-- yeah.

[Jessie shakes her head softly, he sees that look and knows what it means. More to the point, she is worried about him, an awful lot. And that worry is helping her deflect her own brand of awful.]

I'm gonna worry regardless. I read your text messages. I know this hurt you, so do me a favour and don't pretend it didn't.

[The pot calling the kettle black maybe, but she's sticking to it. ]

[he grimaces a little when she mentions the text messages. buzz doesn't entirely regret sending them; he meant it when he said he did it to stop himself losing his mind from the... you know, trauma, guilt, fear, grief. all those fun emotions.]

I won't, and I'm not. It's something I can deal with, Jessie. It wasn't your fault you changed-- I don't want to add to your stress.

I'm just worried about you, that's all.

Edited (didnt like how i worded it!!) 2020-04-11 11:56 (UTC)

[She understands those emotions only too well, and the need to expunge them. Maybe not for this paricular problem, but she's usually a pretty solid advocate for sharing your feelings. ]

I'll be-

[She hesitates, stops in her walk- because it's one thing to bury this deep and another altogether to flat out lie to him. She's not fine, she's not going to be fine. ]

...I just need a little time, is all. But I need you to look after yourself. Because I really do love you, and I don't want to see you hurting.

[Even if there's nothing she can really do about that.]

I will. I promise. We can look out for each other by looking out for ourselves, huh?

[he takes her hand gently as they make their way down the street. towards a place that... should be safe.]

Take as long as you need. Don't think you need to rush through this.

...Okay. Yeah. Of course.

[She gives his hand a 'lil reassuring squeeze. ]

Thanks, I'll be on my feet before you know it. Just need some time to get my head back into place. Is everyone at the house okay?

Don't rush it, [he says again.] it... if you can't get back on your feet after this or if you need all our help, then... that's fine. I know the ideal is that it would never have happened, but...

[he bites his lower lip, trailing off awkwardly.]

They're okay. I didn't tell them what happened. [he couldn't, as selfish as it makes him feel.] I can talk to them later, you don't have to be the one to do it. Sorry.

I know, I know. Baby steps. I'll... have to work on it.

[She says that like she doesn't tackle everything head on all the damn time anyway. But this once... this once she might actually take this slower. It's an awful lot to process. She never thought she would top her trauma from being in the box. Now she has, she's not sure what she's supposed to do with it.

A tenseness eases from her shoulders at his answer. Good. Good.]

Thank you. I... I don't like keeping anything from them, but- [Jessie's prided herself on her honesty but this is a lot] I don't want to upset them.

Yeah. I didn't think you'd want them to know, when it was avoidable.

[as much as part of it as buzz being literally unable to talk about what happened, he does like to think he knows jessie very well at this point. her not wanting them to know was something he figured from the start. he doesn't think it was right to not tell them, but he also knows it's not his call to make.]

It's not something you need to work out right now. If you need space, I can tell them. If they ask why, I'll say because you just do right now.

Edited 2020-04-13 13:45 (UTC)

It would have been a lot of them to handle.

[It's a lot for HIM to handle, a lot for her to handle. It's just a whole lot of...everything. She offers him a tired smile.]

...Thanks. I'd appreciated it if you did. [Again.] I just... I need to work through it in my own head.

Maybe, but... remember. They have each other, and we have them.

[it's a lot for any one of them to handle, but together...? maybe it would be a little more palatable.]

I'll only mention it if it comes up. If you need to redirect them to me, feel free. I don't mind at all, as long as you're comfortable with me speaking on your behalf.

Yeah, I know. We've got this.

[She sounds way less convincing than she wants to be.]

Of course, I am. I trust you, Buzz. [That, at least, is completely and utterly honest.] I know you'll be able to tell them, even if I can't figure out the right words for it.

Can only really take it as it comes, can't we? I just-- want to make sure I don't make it worse by trying to help.

[he knows how that goes. hell, it's not like he managed to work out how to help her through her panic attacks without a few slip-ups. it's not easy when even jessie doesn't know what she needs to help-- not that any of them hold it against each other. toys are understanding of each other's traumas like that.]

...Bullseye will be happy to see you when we get back. It'll probably be nice to get that blanket around you and sit with him for a little while.

Edited 2020-04-14 13:35 (UTC)

You won't. I promise. You never do.

[Not even when he used the salts on her. All he's ever done his is goddamn best for her and she appreciates that more than she can ever put into words. She brightens a little at the mention of the horse.]

Bullseye. It feels like I haven't seen him in an age. And that... that sound real nice.

[She can just peace out for a 'lil while.]

He's doing alright. [as much as he can be goes unsaid. buzz doesn't quite agree with the sentiment that he doesn't ever do anything wrong-- he knows a chunk of it is her not making him want to feel bad. he doesn't think the salts were a good idea and never will, no matter how much she affirms otherwise.

but... like jessie, buzz has no interest in upsetting her with feelings he can cope with himself. they have enough to deal with, right now. this isn't exactly like home where they can afford to talk through everything. somethings just... need to be left to the wind, he thinks. especially now, when she's been through something so terrible! their focus must remain topical and resolute, no matter how much it hurts!

when they get to the door step of their own home, buzz stops her before helping her up the step. you know what this has earned? a little kiss on the forehead. he has to get up on tippy toes to do it, but she gets a gentle little smooch as he holds both her hands for balance.]

I'll let you field his excitement while I go get your things. Do you want to stay downstairs for a little while or go right up?

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yodelling - 2020-04-15 16:34 (UTC) - Expand

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