Ain't that the truth. Things might be a lot easier for all of us if we could. But then, what we went through takes us to where we are now, right?
[If she hadn't have gone through what she did, she never would have met Woody- never been brought back to Andy's room and get herself a family again. ]
Yeah... sorry about that. I wasn't myself. I was affected by the- whatever it was that was going on. Pretty much made me permanently angry.
I've still got plenty of regrets- but I don't think I'd do it over if I had the chance. I wouldn't have the family I've got now if it wasn't for what I went through.
Didn't like it much. But that this place for you, it's good at getting you right where it'll hurt the most.
But they got you to where you are now, right? Was any of it worth it?
[Because that's the crux of it all, isn't it? Was it worth it?]
I stayed inside. The toys that matter most to me are already here. Seeing the kids I've been owned by over the years... I don't reckon that would have done me any good.
[It takes a while before Maul responds to Jessie's question. Was it really worth it in the end? Maul's not sure. Sometimes it seems like it was, and other times, not at all.]
If I ever figure out an answer to that question, I'll tell you.
Then you are stronger than me in that regards. I can't stay away. Seeing my family again is all I have wanted for so long.
It's okay, take your time. It's a pretty big question.
I've learned a thing or two about clinging too hard to the past. Just because it got you were you are doesn't mean dwelling on it does you any good. Can do a lot worse for you, in the long run. Not sure if it's strength or me just avoiding what I know I can't handle.
[That is such a startlingly clear view that Maul can hardly believe it's coming from a cowgirl ragdoll. He should know better than to underestimate people that come in unusual packages, but even now he's an old dog learning new tricks.]
You are a very articulate and wise being. That was very well put. May I ask how old you are? I assume a toy doesn't age the same way a normal human would.
[The cowgirl ragdoll's been through Some Stuff, Maul.]
Never been called a wise being before. I think I'll take it. And no, we don't. Sure we get wear and tear and the like, but we usually wake up grown adults and just keep on going until we're destroyed.
What a curious form of immortality. To be able to stay alive as everyone ages around you. I imagine there are as many advantages as disadvantages to such a state.
[That seems really old for a simple toy to have held up for so long, but then again, what did he know about how toys were made? It's not like he ever had any to judge by comparison.]
I suppose being a toy, your purpose is at least clear cut. In my world, the Force supposedly guides us to our destinies, but sometimes, it is hard to see a pattern even with hindsight. I'm still not sure what the point of my life has been.
Sometimes even toys can lose their way. I know I did for a real long time. One of my owners wasn't a kid.
But you find people who can help you find your way back to who you're supposed to be. There's always folk like that, eventually. Even if it might take a while for them to find you.
I know how that can be. I lost over ten years of my life being in such a state.
I thought for a long time that I had lost all those in my life who were like that. But perhaps that is why I was brought here. To find such people again.
A box? That sounds like the worst sort of torture. You have my sympathies.
[Even Sidious had let his apprentice move around the facility on Mustafar as a child, despite all his distaste for doing so. He knew his small apprentice would wither and die if left in a single room all the time.]
Perhaps. But sometimes, for someone like me, happiness hurts.
I suppose I will simply have to see how long it will last this time.
[Much as he knows he shouldn't, Maul hopes that it might be longer than he thinks. He craves things like happiness and connections with people, despite not really knowing what to do with them once he has them.]
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[Though even today the marks of Sidious' treatment are still evident in his behavior.]
I must say you're acting much more pleasant then the first time we met.
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[If she hadn't have gone through what she did, she never would have met Woody- never been brought back to Andy's room and get herself a family again. ]
Yeah... sorry about that. I wasn't myself. I was affected by the- whatever it was that was going on. Pretty much made me permanently angry.
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[All it does it lead to places in Maul’s mind he would rather not think about.]
Apology accepted. I know what it is like to be in a permanent state of anger.
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Didn't like it much. But that this place for you, it's good at getting you right where it'll hurt the most.
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I would like to do over in my life.
[Long enough that they would make for quite the list if he wrote them all down.]
Of that, I have become most aware. The fireflies have been both a blessing and a curse.
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[Because that's the crux of it all, isn't it? Was it worth it?]
I stayed inside. The toys that matter most to me are already here. Seeing the kids I've been owned by over the years... I don't reckon that would have done me any good.
[ESPECIALLY Emily.]
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If I ever figure out an answer to that question, I'll tell you.
Then you are stronger than me in that regards. I can't stay away. Seeing my family again is all I have wanted for so long.
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I've learned a thing or two about clinging too hard to the past. Just because it got you were you are doesn't mean dwelling on it does you any good. Can do a lot worse for you, in the long run. Not sure if it's strength or me just avoiding what I know I can't handle.
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You are a very articulate and wise being. That was very well put. May I ask how old you are? I assume a toy doesn't age the same way a normal human would.
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Never been called a wise being before. I think I'll take it. And no, we don't. Sure we get wear and tear and the like, but we usually wake up grown adults and just keep on going until we're destroyed.
I'm fifty, by the way.
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[That seems really old for a simple toy to have held up for so long, but then again, what did he know about how toys were made? It's not like he ever had any to judge by comparison.]
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But it does mean I get to help multiple kids- and that's gotta mean something.
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But you find people who can help you find your way back to who you're supposed to be. There's always folk like that, eventually. Even if it might take a while for them to find you.
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I thought for a long time that I had lost all those in my life who were like that. But perhaps that is why I was brought here. To find such people again.
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I was kept in a box for thirty years. I wanted to go live in a museum at the point 'cause even life behind glass was better than life in storage.
It took Woody showing up for me to learn that life could be so much better than either of those options.
I'm glad you've got a chance to find happiness here. You should grab it with both hands, if you do.
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[Even Sidious had let his apprentice move around the facility on Mustafar as a child, despite all his distaste for doing so. He knew his small apprentice would wither and die if left in a single room all the time.]
Perhaps. But sometimes, for someone like me, happiness hurts.
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[But you know, she's not gonna go deep-delving into her emotionally scarring trauma just now.]
Doesn't that make it all the more worth it? The risk of it hurting?
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[Much as he knows he shouldn't, Maul hopes that it might be longer than he thinks. He craves things like happiness and connections with people, despite not really knowing what to do with them once he has them.]