The [finger quotes times] "real" Buzz Lightyear is a cartoon and so not real. We watched the whole show, he's not real and he's not you. You're better.
[The best, in fact.]
And, if in some cockamanie hyjinks the cartoon Buzz Lightyear shows up, I'll just kick his butt, because I have had to deal with an excessive amount of Buzz Lightyears already and the chicken-stank one kinda hit my limit there. There's only one Buzz Lightyear I need or want and he's right here. You don't need to worry about that.
That's what I was told. I don't know if I believe it, but... there's a lot here that can't exist back home. [which is a clusterfuck in his brain in itself after he had to accept none of that shit is real already.] I'm not worried about them showing up so much as it just being a thing in general... it's a lot to take in!
[but... as usual, her exuberance just makes him smile, his heart full with the love he feels for her. of course she'd kick the hell out of any doubles.]
He won't do that again, not after I took him back to the Palace. [though that thing is really lucky he didn't get a beating from woody AND buzz for what he pulled. the rudeness!] For what it's worth, you'd make an incredible Ranger. Zurg wouldn't last ten minutes against you!
I guess so? I'm mostly still dealing with talking to humans - didn't really think much further than that. Makes sense, though. Fern sounds like he doesn't come from Earth at all - and I'm pretty sure the world would've noticed Ironhide by now.
[He's pretty heckin' big!!!]
Yeah, jury's out on that one.
[He was skeevy and she did not care for him. No sir. Give her her awkward, fumbling Buzz Lightyear over an obnoxiously flirty one any day. She smiles, reaching out to pat his shoulder. It's okay, babe, she's got your back.]
You better believe it! I ain't afraid of any weird-faced goon in a purple dress. I bet you'd make a good cowboy too, you just gotta get your countryisms down pat is all.
Oh, that too. I ended up letting a raccoon believe I'm a tiny robot made for infiltration. Several people think I'm a human that's just been shrunk somehow. I didn't really want to correct them.
[though it's a laughable concept to think that he's a human. him! a whole people!]
Fern's from... Ooo, right? Ironhide turns into a truck. He's way too obnoxious to hide for long, though. He jettisoned me across the street when we first met because I vaugely touched his door. [okay buzz you were climbing directly across him, don't be like that. ironhide is a good dude who helped.] Listen, I know my yees and my haws... I can understand you and Woody perfectly well, now!
You... let a raccoon believe you're a tiny robot. [No sorry she's just got to... make sure she heard that one right. ] How did you even? ...No. No. I've decided I don't wanna know, don't tell me.
Did they not see you were made of plastic? No one's thought I was a tiny human. [Jessie, that's because you're a ragdoll and your torso and limbs very blatantly don't have bones in them. ]
Awwww, Ironhide's a big softie. He let me ride on him for a little when I was looking for Woody. He's just crabby is all. Like a big, metal Potatohead. [Oh honey. Oh honey, you're trying so hard.] That's finer than a frog's hair split three ways. You've been practising.
[Jessie, you're a little shit and you're frankly lucky he puts up with you. ]
That's true. It's a little like we're breaking some kina universal law every time we do it. It feels weird. I still don't know how Woody did a whole post to everyone.
[Thank you, Toy God, sleep would be preferable. She chortles a little.]
Well, if you wanted it to be even finer, you could. But that's a whole new level of fine. You sure you can handle that?
He raises several good points in the video, if you watch it.
[buzz still thinks about how woody thought his reaction to it would be something so negative-- he knows they're out of synch in every possible way, but it feels pretty bad to have it affirmed. he has to wonder how jessie is handling and feels about it all, but it doesn't seem like a smart thing to bring up right now...]
Guess I should give it a gander, see what the fuss is about.
[She doesn't sound thrilled, but she hasn't exactly been thrilled about any of it. She knows she's not really giving the entire thing a fair trial, though. She's letting passion override reason again. Once she decides the humans and sundry around here can be trusted with this, she might feel better about it- but to prove they can be trusted they need to know the truth. She's creating a Catch 22 for herself and she's well aware of it. But she'll stubbornly stick to her guns because since when has she ever done anything else? ]
Oh, oh! I got this one! [She grins, sweeping a hand dramatically across the air in front of them. ] The edges of galaxies never seen before!
[ah, a pride sibling staple. he'd be surprised if she didn't, so he doesn't dig too far into it. better she sees it for herself, no? even then, she's allowed to retain her feelings on it.
he gasps gently, pressing his hand to his cheek.] And all the critters in space...!
At least they can always see what's comin', with all those eyes. I still don't get the toilet heads though. What were they even thinking when they made those?
[Probably about the same when the folks making Woody's Roundup decided the most logical thing a cowgirl could do was yodel. Still, she chuckles.]
Hooo boy yeah, it was real weird. But Andy loved it? [And by extension, you, buddy.]
The kids watching the cartoon probably thought it was hilarious.
[Buzz you are not the target audience for your own show, honey.]
I don't know, I think we were a little beyond his time. Not like they released it on video proper. Al had them all recorded on old tapes. [Which they have now- she hopes this meant Sodder stole them from Al. It would be nice to think all the Woody's Roundup stuff appearing here has been directly stolen from him. It's a very nice thought indeed.] Don't reckon kids his age would be all that interested in an old black and white teevee show anyhow. Besides, pretty sure Woody would have known who the heck he was if he did.
That's the important thing. [and seeing as they're on the same track:] ...Heh. I hope the ones Woody got were taken directly from the Chicken Man's clutches.
[because... fuck that guy, honestly.]
That's a good point. Well... Andy and Bonnie both loved you guys. I'm sure they would've thoroughly enjoyed your show.
Heck yeah! [Jessie that was really loud and the others are trying to sleep.] I hope everything we got here from the show was his. I hope he just keeps waking up to find his stuff slowly vanishing away. And I hope he cries about it.
[Does Jessie have some unresolved anger issues towards the guy who kept her in a cardboard box for decades and gave her piles of emotional trauma she'll never heal from? Well. Yeah. Probably. Fuck that guy. ]
Awww, thanks. It's probably still got some good stuff going for it. You know, no bells or whistles or nothing, but still worth watching.
[he snorts, laughing at the idea. eat shit, al! you suck! how could you not know your toys are sentient and put them through something that would scar them because of said sentience!
well, that and the theft. stealing a child's toy from his mother was definitely a thing he did. gross.
buzz has the grossest grin on his face when he continues.] Maybe I'm biased but... it has you in it, doesn't it?
[Al is the worst human being that ever existed and she hopes his life is a miserable waste now. Maybe they put him in Japan Jail for showing up to a museum with exactly none of the dolls he'd promised them.
That is for sure the grossest grin, but Jessie wasn't expecting the compliment, and it was a pretty dang good one for a change. She lets out a soft 'heh', running a hand through her hair, a stupid doofy smile crossing her lips. Congrats, Buzz, you got a full doki out of her cynical old heart. ]
2/2
[The best, in fact.]
And, if in some cockamanie hyjinks the cartoon Buzz Lightyear shows up, I'll just kick his butt, because I have had to deal with an excessive amount of Buzz Lightyears already and the chicken-stank one kinda hit my limit there. There's only one Buzz Lightyear I need or want and he's right here. You don't need to worry about that.
no subject
[but... as usual, her exuberance just makes him smile, his heart full with the love he feels for her. of course she'd kick the hell out of any doubles.]
He won't do that again, not after I took him back to the Palace. [though that thing is really lucky he didn't get a beating from woody AND buzz for what he pulled. the rudeness!] For what it's worth, you'd make an incredible Ranger. Zurg wouldn't last ten minutes against you!
no subject
[He's pretty heckin' big!!!]
Yeah, jury's out on that one.
[He was skeevy and she did not care for him. No sir. Give her her awkward, fumbling Buzz Lightyear over an obnoxiously flirty one any day. She smiles, reaching out to pat his shoulder. It's okay, babe, she's got your back.]
You better believe it! I ain't afraid of any weird-faced goon in a purple dress. I bet you'd make a good cowboy too, you just gotta get your countryisms down pat is all.
no subject
[though it's a laughable concept to think that he's a human. him! a whole people!]
Fern's from... Ooo, right? Ironhide turns into a truck. He's way too obnoxious to hide for long, though. He jettisoned me across the street when we first met because I vaugely touched his door. [okay buzz you were climbing directly across him, don't be like that. ironhide is a good dude who helped.] Listen, I know my yees and my haws... I can understand you and Woody perfectly well, now!
no subject
Did they not see you were made of plastic? No one's thought I was a tiny human. [Jessie, that's because you're a ragdoll and your torso and limbs very blatantly don't have bones in them. ]
Awwww, Ironhide's a big softie. He let me ride on him for a little when I was looking for Woody. He's just crabby is all. Like a big, metal Potatohead. [Oh honey. Oh honey, you're trying so hard.] That's finer than a frog's hair split three ways. You've been practising.
[Jessie, you're a little shit and you're frankly lucky he puts up with you. ]
no subject
[he shrugs a little, then finally sits back down next to her. maybe sleep will come back sooner than she hopes.]
...That's exactly what I said! [buzz says, a grin splitting his expression. great minds think alike?] Nnnoot... four ways?
no subject
[Thank you, Toy God, sleep would be preferable. She chortles a little.]
Well, if you wanted it to be even finer, you could. But that's a whole new level of fine. You sure you can handle that?
no subject
[buzz still thinks about how woody thought his reaction to it would be something so negative-- he knows they're out of synch in every possible way, but it feels pretty bad to have it affirmed. he has to wonder how jessie is handling and feels about it all, but it doesn't seem like a smart thing to bring up right now...]
We're reaching uncharted territories, Miss Pride.
no subject
[She doesn't sound thrilled, but she hasn't exactly been thrilled about any of it. She knows she's not really giving the entire thing a fair trial, though. She's letting passion override reason again. Once she decides the humans and sundry around here can be trusted with this, she might feel better about it- but to prove they can be trusted they need to know the truth. She's creating a Catch 22 for herself and she's well aware of it. But she'll stubbornly stick to her guns because since when has she ever done anything else? ]
Oh, oh! I got this one! [She grins, sweeping a hand dramatically across the air in front of them. ] The edges of galaxies never seen before!
[IS SHE SPACE-ING GOOD??]
no subject
[ah, a pride sibling staple. he'd be surprised if she didn't, so he doesn't dig too far into it. better she sees it for herself, no? even then, she's allowed to retain her feelings on it.
he gasps gently, pressing his hand to his cheek.] And all the critters in space...!
no subject
[And then they all showed up and made it all awkward. She giggles, thems good theatrics, Space Ranger.]
Are there even critters in space? Are there like... alien critters? Lotsa eyes and stuff?
no subject
[...]
...My cartoon was kind of weird. Huh.
no subject
[Probably about the same when the folks making Woody's Roundup decided the most logical thing a cowgirl could do was yodel. Still, she chuckles.]
Hooo boy yeah, it was real weird. But Andy loved it? [And by extension, you, buddy.]
no subject
[not about fart jokes, this one. isn't that a shocker?]
...Yeah, he did. [slightly bittersweet; they'll always miss andy.] Too bad he didn't get the Roundup show... or maybe he did. I've no idea.
no subject
[Buzz you are not the target audience for your own show, honey.]
I don't know, I think we were a little beyond his time. Not like they released it on video proper. Al had them all recorded on old tapes. [Which they have now- she hopes this meant Sodder stole them from Al. It would be nice to think all the Woody's Roundup stuff appearing here has been directly stolen from him. It's a very nice thought indeed.] Don't reckon kids his age would be all that interested in an old black and white teevee show anyhow. Besides, pretty sure Woody would have known who the heck he was if he did.
no subject
That's the important thing. [and seeing as they're on the same track:] ...Heh. I hope the ones Woody got were taken directly from the Chicken Man's clutches.
[because... fuck that guy, honestly.]
That's a good point. Well... Andy and Bonnie both loved you guys. I'm sure they would've thoroughly enjoyed your show.
no subject
[Does Jessie have some unresolved anger issues towards the guy who kept her in a cardboard box for decades and gave her piles of emotional trauma she'll never heal from? Well. Yeah. Probably. Fuck that guy. ]
Awww, thanks. It's probably still got some good stuff going for it. You know, no bells or whistles or nothing, but still worth watching.
no subject
well, that and the theft. stealing a child's toy from his mother was definitely a thing he did. gross.
buzz has the grossest grin on his face when he continues.] Maybe I'm biased but... it has you in it, doesn't it?
no subject
That is for sure the grossest grin, but Jessie wasn't expecting the compliment, and it was a pretty dang good one for a change. She lets out a soft 'heh', running a hand through her hair, a stupid doofy smile crossing her lips. Congrats, Buzz, you got a full doki out of her cynical old heart. ]
Well~ There is that going for it, I guess.
no subject
[woody? don't know him. buzz hopes he can hear this. fucker. get owned.]
no subject
[SUCK IT, WOODY :D]