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Offical Woody Complaint Box
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Offical Woody Complaint Box
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Offical Woody Complaint Box
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Offical Woody Complaint Box
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cawaii
2/2
[The best, in fact.]
And, if in some cockamanie hyjinks the cartoon Buzz Lightyear shows up, I'll just kick his butt, because I have had to deal with an excessive amount of Buzz Lightyears already and the chicken-stank one kinda hit my limit there. There's only one Buzz Lightyear I need or want and he's right here. You don't need to worry about that.
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[but... as usual, her exuberance just makes him smile, his heart full with the love he feels for her. of course she'd kick the hell out of any doubles.]
He won't do that again, not after I took him back to the Palace. [though that thing is really lucky he didn't get a beating from woody AND buzz for what he pulled. the rudeness!] For what it's worth, you'd make an incredible Ranger. Zurg wouldn't last ten minutes against you!
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[He's pretty heckin' big!!!]
Yeah, jury's out on that one.
[He was skeevy and she did not care for him. No sir. Give her her awkward, fumbling Buzz Lightyear over an obnoxiously flirty one any day. She smiles, reaching out to pat his shoulder. It's okay, babe, she's got your back.]
You better believe it! I ain't afraid of any weird-faced goon in a purple dress. I bet you'd make a good cowboy too, you just gotta get your countryisms down pat is all.
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[though it's a laughable concept to think that he's a human. him! a whole people!]
Fern's from... Ooo, right? Ironhide turns into a truck. He's way too obnoxious to hide for long, though. He jettisoned me across the street when we first met because I vaugely touched his door. [okay buzz you were climbing directly across him, don't be like that. ironhide is a good dude who helped.] Listen, I know my yees and my haws... I can understand you and Woody perfectly well, now!
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Did they not see you were made of plastic? No one's thought I was a tiny human. [Jessie, that's because you're a ragdoll and your torso and limbs very blatantly don't have bones in them. ]
Awwww, Ironhide's a big softie. He let me ride on him for a little when I was looking for Woody. He's just crabby is all. Like a big, metal Potatohead. [Oh honey. Oh honey, you're trying so hard.] That's finer than a frog's hair split three ways. You've been practising.
[Jessie, you're a little shit and you're frankly lucky he puts up with you. ]
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[he shrugs a little, then finally sits back down next to her. maybe sleep will come back sooner than she hopes.]
...That's exactly what I said! [buzz says, a grin splitting his expression. great minds think alike?] Nnnoot... four ways?
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[Thank you, Toy God, sleep would be preferable. She chortles a little.]
Well, if you wanted it to be even finer, you could. But that's a whole new level of fine. You sure you can handle that?
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[buzz still thinks about how woody thought his reaction to it would be something so negative-- he knows they're out of synch in every possible way, but it feels pretty bad to have it affirmed. he has to wonder how jessie is handling and feels about it all, but it doesn't seem like a smart thing to bring up right now...]
We're reaching uncharted territories, Miss Pride.
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[She doesn't sound thrilled, but she hasn't exactly been thrilled about any of it. She knows she's not really giving the entire thing a fair trial, though. She's letting passion override reason again. Once she decides the humans and sundry around here can be trusted with this, she might feel better about it- but to prove they can be trusted they need to know the truth. She's creating a Catch 22 for herself and she's well aware of it. But she'll stubbornly stick to her guns because since when has she ever done anything else? ]
Oh, oh! I got this one! [She grins, sweeping a hand dramatically across the air in front of them. ] The edges of galaxies never seen before!
[IS SHE SPACE-ING GOOD??]
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[ah, a pride sibling staple. he'd be surprised if she didn't, so he doesn't dig too far into it. better she sees it for herself, no? even then, she's allowed to retain her feelings on it.
he gasps gently, pressing his hand to his cheek.] And all the critters in space...!
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[And then they all showed up and made it all awkward. She giggles, thems good theatrics, Space Ranger.]
Are there even critters in space? Are there like... alien critters? Lotsa eyes and stuff?
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[...]
...My cartoon was kind of weird. Huh.
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[Probably about the same when the folks making Woody's Roundup decided the most logical thing a cowgirl could do was yodel. Still, she chuckles.]
Hooo boy yeah, it was real weird. But Andy loved it? [And by extension, you, buddy.]
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[not about fart jokes, this one. isn't that a shocker?]
...Yeah, he did. [slightly bittersweet; they'll always miss andy.] Too bad he didn't get the Roundup show... or maybe he did. I've no idea.
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[Buzz you are not the target audience for your own show, honey.]
I don't know, I think we were a little beyond his time. Not like they released it on video proper. Al had them all recorded on old tapes. [Which they have now- she hopes this meant Sodder stole them from Al. It would be nice to think all the Woody's Roundup stuff appearing here has been directly stolen from him. It's a very nice thought indeed.] Don't reckon kids his age would be all that interested in an old black and white teevee show anyhow. Besides, pretty sure Woody would have known who the heck he was if he did.
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That's the important thing. [and seeing as they're on the same track:] ...Heh. I hope the ones Woody got were taken directly from the Chicken Man's clutches.
[because... fuck that guy, honestly.]
That's a good point. Well... Andy and Bonnie both loved you guys. I'm sure they would've thoroughly enjoyed your show.
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[Does Jessie have some unresolved anger issues towards the guy who kept her in a cardboard box for decades and gave her piles of emotional trauma she'll never heal from? Well. Yeah. Probably. Fuck that guy. ]
Awww, thanks. It's probably still got some good stuff going for it. You know, no bells or whistles or nothing, but still worth watching.
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well, that and the theft. stealing a child's toy from his mother was definitely a thing he did. gross.
buzz has the grossest grin on his face when he continues.] Maybe I'm biased but... it has you in it, doesn't it?
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That is for sure the grossest grin, but Jessie wasn't expecting the compliment, and it was a pretty dang good one for a change. She lets out a soft 'heh', running a hand through her hair, a stupid doofy smile crossing her lips. Congrats, Buzz, you got a full doki out of her cynical old heart. ]
Well~ There is that going for it, I guess.
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[woody? don't know him. buzz hopes he can hear this. fucker. get owned.]
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[SUCK IT, WOODY :D]